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Hold On

Contributing writer and spoken word artist Devonnie Black brings us into her mind as she juggles the eternal artist struggle of creative lust vs. real life.


Hold on.

go.

let go.

let go.

wait.

she is still. her body is still.

her mind?

her mind….

her mind is havoc.

I need to film a video.

and write a blog post.

checks watch.

what time is my shift?

more time.

I miss my family.

I’m 26.

. twenty six.

I need to get my shit together. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s

what am I suppose to be doing?

what am I suppose to be doing?

what am I suppose to be d o i n g ?

s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s

write. more.

read. more.

watch. more.

cook. more.

give. more.

c r e a t e . m o r e .

d o c. u m e n t . m o r e .

i don’t know.

i want to know.

just want to be happy.

happy.

can’t. WE NEED MORE LOVE.

too much death. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s

heart ache.

heartbreak.

hate.

why so much h a t e ?

what can I do?

I need to do something.

down.

down.

down.

down.

here we go.

I’m scared. I want to be happy.

happy.

put on your red lipstick.

beautiful.

black.

Black.

BLACK.

skin. i love it.

it is all mine.

clothes.

I should at least try to go to the gym though. For my heart and what not.

mascara? yes.

my skin is so dry right now.

girl. so is this hair.

nails? a mess. as per…

okay. progress. go. be. human.

smile today. ok, try.

. tries.

I need to clean my apartment. oh, laundry too.

uh. the closet.

why don’t I decorate? ha ha ha. money. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s

groceries…remember, more fruits, more vegetables. wine.

shit. how much?

bank accounts. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s

bills.

bills.

bills.

s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s. s t r e s s

-Devonnie

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